Sunday, January 24, 2010

Fire Starter

Today's morning sermon is called Born To Lead.  I am preaching on the family and this deals with the Purpose and role of the man in life and marriage.

One of the points of scripture about man's leadership is his love for his wife.  Men must take the lead.  I don't only mean physically, but emotionally.  Men are the ones that must work to keep the spark of joy, friendship, communication, and attraction in the marriage.

Concerning this, there is a book out called Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.  I have not totally read the book, so I can't endorse all of the content.  The book deals with ways that people respond to be loved.  It is important to understand what "language" your wife responds to be loved in.  Some respond to gifts, some to talk, some to acts of kindness, etc.  Here are some tips that may help you men as you accept the role to lead as a "Fire Starter":

1.  Talk to your wife - communicate, don't just relay information and make necessary plans.  Build a friendship.

2.  Write random notes to her.  Leave them places.  Make them short and very sweet.

3.  Occasionally, for no reason, buy her flowers.

4.  Show your love for her publicly.  Put your arm around her.  Refer to her affectionately when around people.  Allow her to here that.  Let her know you appreciate and love her publicly. 

5.  Do something that is her responsibility without being asked.  This is not a role reversal, but just showing her that you care and want to help her by cleaning a bathroom or whatever.

6.  Include her into your business.  She isn't with you all the time.  Tell her your interaction with the business world, etc.  Ask her about her interactions through the day.  Be interested in her life, thoughts, etc.

7.  Ask her randomly to tell you stories of her life before you were married.  Ask her to tell you a story from when she was 7 or 11, or 14 yrs. old.  This helps you dwell with her according to knowledge, but also allows you to share fond memories in her soul together.

I pray that this series on the Family will greatly strengthen our homes to be what the Lord desires a home to be.


  1. Enjoyed the sermon this morning. Sometimes it's hard to hear about the roles that men and women are supposed to have in the home which is why (as a woman) it's also good to be reminded. Made me realize I need to do much better with not interfering in my husband's leadership role.

  2. Pastor, this was required reading for one of my classes in college- the class was called "The Family." I would recommend it. It teaches couples how best to communicate love to the partner in the marriage. Some people feel loved when the spouse does random acts of service- cleaning or laundry, some feel loved when they are touched- holding hands, hugged, etc. Some people feel loved when they receive gifts- like sending flowers from Greenville, for example. Some feel loved when the spouse spends time with him / her- just listening or simpply dating, doing things together. The final way, according to this book, that one spouse can express love to his mate (this usually applies for husbands to wives, but wives can do this for their husbands, too) is by complimenting the other, or affirming the other in front of the children, praising the spouse in public and in private. It's a terrific book.